


Magic Matchmaking!

by MaxMustard



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: I’ll add tags as I go, M/M, Maxneil, NOT NERRISON, i love maxneil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24941791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxMustard/pseuds/MaxMustard
Summary: Nerris and Harrison start up a matchmaking business called the “Magic Matchmakers!” And it looks like they’ve found their first couple in progress.
Relationships: Max/Science Camp Neil (Camp Camp)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

“So tell me again why you brought a bush into the mess hall?” 

“Silence, dwarf! We’re at work!” Nerris said, swatting David away. He looked confused.

“Work? You don’t work anywhere! … Right?”

“Yes we do! We have our own business, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, we’re the Magic Matchmakers!” I said cheerfully. Nerris nodded and stared through her binoculars once again. David looked over to where she was facing. 

Max and Neil, both so close… and yet so far away from each other. “Look at them! They’re practically cuddling and they’re not even talking to each other!” Nerris scoffed.

“We’ve  _ got  _ to intervene.” I decided. Nerris nodded again. David shook his head rapidly. “You two know what happened  _ last time  _ someone tried to interfere with Neil’s love life! So much fanart…” David shivered.

We just ignored him. 

Me and Nerris grabbed our trays and stood behind them. “Do you guys mind if we sit here?” Nerris asked happily.

Max slid away from Neil. “Please do!”

I sat down next to Neil and Nerris gave me a thumbs up. 

“So, Neil. A little birdie told me that you have a crush on Max.”

“Oh yeah? Well that little birdie is a little liar.”

I took off my hat and pulled out a little bluebird. I put him down on the table. “You would really call  _ him  _ a liar?”

“Well if he was telling people that I have a crush on Max then, yes.”

“Did you just blush?”

“What? No?”

“You just did it again.”

“Harrison!”

“Oooh, you do have a crush on Max!”

“Hey, hey! Not so  _ loud _ ! And… sort of? It’s complicated. Because I’m, like, attracted to him, but I’m straight— or I thought I was…”

“No, you’re definitely not straight. Anyways, this same little— where’d he go? Oh… he’s… Quartermaster is cooking him. Oh god. Anyways before his untimely death he told me Max might like you b—“

“Wait, is this some matchmaking thing you’re doing with Nerris?”

“What? No.”

“Listen, I’d love to date Max and all, but things always go wrong with matchmaking, didn’t you learn anything during the Lake Lilac Summer Social??”

“Let’s say we have. It’ll be better this time!”

“... If… If you’re sure. H-how do I know that Max’ll even like me back? He’s not the type to date nerds.”

Oh… I hadn’t thought that through. “Um... he’s gay I need to go talk to Nerris byeeee!”

Neil gave me a weak confused wave and went back to eating his lunch. “Look, there’s Harrison! Go talk about dragon eggs with him.” Max yelled, pointing at me. Nerris turned around and pulled me into the bush.

“I tried to talk about Neil with him, but he just kept refusing!” Nerris whined, looking over at a disinterested Max. I wasn’t stoked about the news I was about to give her.

“Yeah… about that… Neil thinks he’s too nerdy for Max and he  _ is _ !”

“Oh, dragon’s morning breath! You’re right!”

“We need to make him better!”

“I know just the guy.”


	2. Preston Goodplay’s Bad Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerris and Harrison turn to Preston for help on Neil’s love life.

“This better be good, I was in the middle of cleaning off my makeup.” Preston said, eyeing us suspiciously. Harrison looked nervous, but I gave him a thumbs up.

“We need your help in making him” I grabbed Neil from behind me and shoved him in front of Preston. “look less nerdy.”

“Well it’s about  _ time _ ! So, any specific look you’re going for?”

“Hmm… something that Max will fall in love with.” 

Preston’s expression changed to that of even  _ more  _ interest. He grabbed Neil’s sweater and pulled him backstage, leaving me and Harrison to go chasing after them.

“I  _ love  _ a good romance! Nerdy girl plus popular boy. Or… I guess in this case… nerdy boy plus popular boy. I’m not allowed to write gay plays after what Nurf did to me last time.”

Preston shook his head as if he was shaking off the thoughts. He eyed Neil and shook his head more slowly. “Your fashion sense…”

“Oh, like yours is much better!”

“What are you wearing? Is.. that a sweater tee shirt? Nononono! This just just won’t do! Alright. Ditch the sweater and put this on.”

Preston handed Neil a white shirt, a leather jacket, some hair gel, and a pair of ripped jeans. Neil took the items and looked them over. “Are you trying to make me look like I’m from the 50s?”

“Yes, actually. Those are the only  _ cool  _ clothes I could find.”

“Um… okay?”

Neil walked into a changing room. Preston smiled at us. “Am I good? Or am I  _ good _ ?”

“Oh you’re good all right. Good at making Neil look like a fucking joke.” Harrison snapped. I snickered. Preston looked surprised. “Max likes guys. Not science greasers!”

Preston crossed his arms. “Well why don’t  _ you  _ ask Max what he likes in a guy?”

We stuck out our tongues and Neil walked out of the room. Lord of the Rings, if I didn’t know that Neil was the only guy in that room, I wouldn’t have known in the slightest that that was Neil.

“How do I look?”

Harrison absentmindedly pulled a noose out of his hat. 

Neil looked embarrassed. “I… I’ll take it off. This whole matchmaking thing’ll never work anyways. Thanks for trying.”

“Nonononono! You know Max better than everyone else, why don’t you pick the outfit?”

“Um.. okay. Preston, what other costumes do you have?”

Preston grabbed a cardboard box. He looked down at it and looked back up at Neil. “Does… Max like princes or princesses?”

“I’ll just wear the greaser outfit.”

“Okay. Let’s turn our attention on acting.” Preston said, putting away the box.

He pulled Neil onto the stage. “No fucking way, Max’ll see us here!” He hissed. Preston looked around, Max was a little farther away, trying to hang himself with a rope made out of camper’s shoelaces. “If he comes over here, we’ll tell him that we’re rehearsing a romance. Technically we are. Okay, okay, I’ll be Max. Try to play it cool.”

Neil breathed in and out for what seemed like hours until he finally said: “Hi?”

“Hello N— I mean Hey, Neil. Sup?”

“Nothin much. Um… should I use a pickup line?”

I waved my hands in front of me and Harrison put his hand to his neck. “Definitely don’t do that.” I whispered.

“Okay, okay. Lookin good.”

“Good?  **_Good_ ** ? I look  _ godly _ ! I am the embodiment of perfection! For you to call my look  _ good  _ is the highest insult—“

“What was I supposed to say?? Hey you hairless rat, you look like shit!” Neil snapped back panickedly.

Preston laughed and bit and rubbed the back of his neck. “Heh… sorry about that, let’s start ov—“

“Fuck that noise! I’m going to my tent.” Neil said, throwing his jacket off. “And this is hot as all hell!”

“Me and Nerris’ll come too and give you more pointers!”

“Fine, sure.”

Okay, so Preston didn’t work out, but me and Harrison’s advice would!


	3. Match Made!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil’s like “You know what? Fuck y’all. I’m gonna tell him myself.”

“Okay so after a short talk—“

“You know we’re talking for hours.”

“And? Anyways, we have decided that you two need to go in a dinner date!”

“No.”

“Why not??” Nerris whined. A dinner date would be perfect for them! 

“Okay, first of all, we already have dinner together.  _ Every night _ . Second of all, why can’t I just tell Max that I like him and get it over with? I don’t want you two to go through all this trouble setting up like a date in the woods or something only to have it go wrong.”

“I-it won’t be too much trouble! We’ll just… we’ll just… um…” I cringed as Nerris stumbled over her words.

“Look, I’m just gonna go tell him, alright?”

Neil walked out of the tent and we came tumbling after. “Nonononono! Don’t! You’re not ready!” Nerris yelled. Neil ignored us and kept walking towards Max. 

Finally he reached him and me and Nerris were exhausted. We watched nervously from behind a tree. “Max?”

“Yeah?”

“I…. um… like you.”

“That must suck. But anyways I like you too, you bag of bitch.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah. Now come help me light this dynamite, it’s a two man job.”

Neil and Max walked off. Me and Nerris looked at each other. “Well… all that help was for nothing.” I said blankly.

“In other words match made!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the ending feels forced. I’m really sorry about that. I guess I just wasn’t as invested in this one as I am in my others djajdbsjrntbw


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